It’s your birthday. Hundreds of Facebook “friends” have posted messages and your latest Instagram selfie has attracted dozens of compliments. Yet, you feel an ache that can only be described as loneliness.
Internet-related technologies give us the illusion of connectedness, but the fact is, the time and energy spent on social media may be at the expense of more rooted, genuinely supportive, and truly close relationships.
Research suggests that we ditch our phones and iPads regularly in favour of quality “real-time” with our families or friends who are like family. Here’s why:
Good for Health: Physical time with your tribe, as opposed to digitally, significantly reduces depression, anxiety, and stress. A study found that when people discuss their hardships with a friend beside them (instead of alone), they had lowered pulse and blood pressure readings. There’s even evidence that time socialising with those who care about you can improve heart, brain, hormonal, and immune health.
Good for skills: Being with your tribe can be difficult at times as when conflicts arise you can’t simply block them on social media. You need to work together to solve issues. This teaches you healthy interpersonal skills such as constructive debate and problem-solving.
Good for kids: On average, kids who spend quality time with family/role models, do better at school. Celebrating their strengths and helping them with difficult tasks in a warm, nurturing environment, reduces negative coping behaviours such as violence and substance abuse.
No time?
Unplug. Create technology-free zones so you can keep your focus on each other. You’ll be surprised how much time you have to connect without social media.
Weekly “dates.” It’s easy to get caught up in a busy schedule, hence the importance of setting a regular date. And it doesn’t have to cost! Start a puzzle, play a board game, go for walks or hikes, bake or cook a meal together, or simply sit around a campfire and talk about what’s happening in the lives of those who matter most.
If you need advice or support with building connection, please contact LifeAssist and chat to a counsellor.