Depression and anxiety are very common, so it’s likely that someone you know or love is affected either directly or indirectly. Research has shown that good quality social connections can help, but sometimes it’s hard to know what to say to someone.
- I’m here for you
You can say that you’ve noticed they’re having a hard time and that you’re there if they want to talk. If you simply ask “Are you okay?” they may reply with “I’m fine.” If they’re not ready to talk now, they’ll know who to call when they are. However, keep the focus on them and remember to listen first.
- What can I do to help now?
Sometimes just getting out of bed can be hard for someone feeling anxious or depressed. Offering practical assistance can help them feel supported – pick up groceries, drive them to an appointment, or just make them a cup of tea.
- How are you managing?
Depression and anxiety are medical conditions, not weaknesses. Encourage them to seek professional help by contacting their Employee Assistance Programme, if they haven’t already done so. Also, tell them when you notice improvements. This can give them the confidence to persevere.
- That sounds really hard, I’m sorry you are going through this.
These statements can help the person feel heard and seen, and that they are not alone.
As important as it is to know what to say, it’s equally vital to know what not to say
Offering “helpful” solutions or statements can often make the person feel judged or guilty.
DON’T say:
- You shouldn’t be depressed – you have so much.
- Just think positive thoughts.
- I stopped drinking coffee and feel less anxious, so should you.
- Pull yourself together.
- Don’t be selfish. Think of all the poor people who have it worse than you.
The truth is, it’s not always easy and or possible to say the right thing to someone living with anxiety and/or depression, but showing them support can help them not feel so alone.
If you’re worried about a colleague, friend, family member, or yourself, please contact LifeAssist for professional support.