The dying and death of a loved one is difficult to navigate under normal circumstances. During the Covid-19 pandemic it has become even more sensitive. Grief is a normal response that we experience to a loss. It can feel overwhelming and it often takes time to work through the complicated emotions. The Kubler-Ross model describes the five stages of grief as: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance. Although the stages of grief are universal, they don’t happen in any particular order and everybody grieves differently.

As with most things, the Covid-19 pandemic has added a new dimension to grief for people all over the world. Usually being present for a loved one’s final moments to comfort them, attending the funeral to say goodbye and connecting with the people around us are important parts of the grief process. Social connection in the form of hugs, hand holding, and sharing memories provide comfort and reassurance that we are not alone, amongst many other cultural traditions. However, because of our current strict physical distancing and social isolation rules, it is often not possible. Many other important traditional customs are also being put on hold leaving people feeling isolated and depressed.

Our new normal means that for the foreseeable future we may need to grieve from a distance. Here are some practical tools you can use to help you honour your loved one and come to terms with your loss:

  • Due to the limited number of people allowed at funerals as well as the fear of contracting COVID-19, many people are opting to attend funerals virtually by means of Skype, Facetime, Zoom and other apps that are easy to use.
  • If you aren’t able to attend a funeral, consider writing or recording a message that can be read out or played at the funeral.
  • Grieving in isolation is unnatural. Reach out to friends and family during this time and stay connected via social media, email and text.
  • Consider holding a small funeral now and arranging a bigger memorial or celebration of life later on when the lockdown regulations have eased.
  • Hold your own private memorial at home in your lounge or garden. Light candles, say a few words, sing a hymn or a meaningful song.
  • Write a letter expressing what the person meant to you and say goodbye.
  • Create a small memorial garden in memory of your loved one by planting a tree. This is the perfect space to sit and have some quiet time.
  • Grief can impact you physically. Make sure that you are getting enough rest, nutrition and exercise.

If you aren’t coping and you need professional support, contact the LifeAssist National Support Service for counselling.

Source: LifeAssist