Enduring violence and abuse is an unwelcome reality for many individuals in South Africa. Gender-based violence constitutes a violation of human rights, a legal offence, demanding urgent eradication. We possess the power to effect change by taking a stand and vocalising our concerns.

What constitutes abuse?

Abuse encompasses various forms of harm, such as:

  • Physically or sexually harming someone’s body.
  • Subjecting an individual to insults or threats of violence.
  • Engaging in sexual harassment.
  • Humiliating and degrading someone, either at home or in public.
  • Exercising control over an individual’s finances.
  • Impeding one’s ability to secure or maintain employment or to connect with friends and family.
  • Stalking, which includes following or visiting someone without consent.
  • Jeopardising an individual’s health or wellbeing.
  • Monitoring phone calls and dictating one’s movements.

How to Get the Courage to Step Out of an Abusive Relationship

Leaving an abusive relationship is an immensely challenging and courageous step to take. Here are some practical steps and considerations to help individuals find the strength and support needed to break free from such toxic situations:

  • Recognise the Abuse: The first important step is to acknowledge that you are in an abusive relationship. This may involve seeking guidance from a therapist, counsellor, or a trusted friend who can provide an objective perspective.
  • Safety Planning: Plan your exit carefully. Ensure you have a safe place to go, and let someone you trust know about your plans.
  • Seek Support: Reach out to friends, family, or support groups who can offer emotional support and a safe space to discuss your situation.
  • Legal Assistance: Depending on the situation, consult with legal professionals who can advise on issues like restraining orders, custody arrangements, and divorce.
  • Therapy and Counselling: Professional therapy can be incredibly helpful in understanding the root causes of the abusive relationship and in building emotional resilience.
  • Financial Independence: If possible, work towards financial independence. Having your own income can empower you to make choices without being financially reliant on the abuser.
  • Document the Abuse: Keep records of any incidents, injuries, or threatening messages. This documentation can be useful in legal proceedings.
  • Build a Support Network: Establish connections with organisations that specialise in helping abuse victims. They can provide invaluable resources and assistance.
  • Emotional Healing: Healing from the trauma of an abusive relationship is an ongoing process. Seek therapy and support groups to aid in your emotional recovery.
  • Remember Your Worth: Know that you deserve a life free from abuse and have the strength to overcome this situation.

Leaving an abusive relationship is a challenging journey, but it’s one that can lead to a brighter, safer future. By taking these steps and seeking the support you need, you can find the courage to step out of an abusive relationship and begin the process of healing and rebuilding your life.

If you or someone in your family needs support, please speak to a trauma counsellor at LifeAssist, so you can get the support that is needed.

Please also note these emergency numbers:

  • Gender-Based Violence Command Centre: Call 0800 428 428 or dial *120*7867#
  • Stop Gender Violence helpline: 0800 150 150
  • SAPS: 10111
  • Crime Stop: 0860 01 01 11
  • Childline: 116
  • Report any abuse of children and women to the Department of Social Development on 0800 220 250.
  • LifeLine 24-hour Crisis Helpline: 0861 322 322

If you’re a witness and afraid for your safety for reasons linked to being a witness, you can apply for witness protection. Contact the Witness Protection Unit at the National Prosecuting Authority (NPA) on 012 845 6000.

LifeAssist invites you to join the Sun International 365 Days of Activism campaign to end all forms of abuse.