{"id":3508,"date":"2017-08-24T01:56:58","date_gmt":"2017-08-24T01:56:58","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/yourlifeassist.co.za.dedi196.cpt3.host-h.net\/blog\/328-repairing-marriage-damage1b83\/"},"modified":"2021-03-18T10:12:34","modified_gmt":"2021-03-18T10:12:34","slug":"328-repairing-marriage-damage1b83","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/yourlifeassist.co.za\/sunint\/328-repairing-marriage-damage1b83\/","title":{"rendered":"Repairing marriage damage"},"content":{"rendered":"

Newlyweds are generally in love. They promise to love and live together ‘until death do us part’. As time goes by, some relationships get stronger and stronger, while others start to deteriorate.<\/p>\n

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Sometimes this deterioration is caused by a specific event: physical abuse, an affair or a job loss, and sometimes the deterioration may grow slowly over time. The couple may develop different interests, or their arguments over ‘little things’ are handled badly and they begin to grow apart.<\/p>\n

Break down the walls<\/b><\/p>\n

Accept and acknowledge that you have a problem, that it isn’t just one partner’s problem and that you need to work on it as a team. Talk to each other about the problem in a constructive way. To do this, you both need to feel emotionally safe. One way to do this is to do the following:<\/p>\n

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    • Give each person a turn to explain how he or she feels about the situation. The person speaking may not attack or accuse the other partner, defend themselves or be sarcastic.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
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        • Tell your partner what you are feeling and experiencing. For example, ‘I get worried when you come home late, because I’m scared of losing you.’ Or ‘I feel I have no value when you ignore me in company.’ Try to construct sentences that express your emotions and avoid accusations at all costs.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
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            • Allow your partner to show that he or she understands what you have said. For example, ‘I can see that you feel very hurt when I …’ or ‘Do I understand you correctly when you say that …’<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
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                • Tell your partner what your needs are when you’re sure that you have each heard what the other has to say. For example, ‘I need you to bring me flowers …’ or ‘I need you to watch rugby with me’. Be honest and realistic when expressing your needs to one another and be prepared to compromise.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
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                    • Apologise and forgive one another.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
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                        • Decide on at least one activity that you can enjoy doing together on a regular basis.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n

                          Our Employee Wellbeing Programme (EWP) is available 24 hours a day if you want to know more about relationships.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

                           <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

                          Newlyweds are generally in love. They promise to love and […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[43,46,45],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3508","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-your-wellness-family","category-your-wellness-her-health","category-your-wellness-his-health"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/yourlifeassist.co.za\/sunint\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3508","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/yourlifeassist.co.za\/sunint\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/yourlifeassist.co.za\/sunint\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/yourlifeassist.co.za\/sunint\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/yourlifeassist.co.za\/sunint\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3508"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/yourlifeassist.co.za\/sunint\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3508\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/yourlifeassist.co.za\/sunint\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3508"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/yourlifeassist.co.za\/sunint\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3508"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/yourlifeassist.co.za\/sunint\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3508"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}