Do you have a sneaky suspicion that you may be in a toxic relationship with someone who is not good for you? This could be a close friend, colleague, sibling, parent, or even a partner. Here are some red flags that may indicate that your relationship is not healthy for either of you:

  • “If you love me, you’ll do this for me. You’re my best friend so please help me.” Does this sound familiar? Do any of your friends manipulate, bully, or ‘guilt you’ into doing things you may not want to do, but that benefit them?
  • Your self-confidence and self-esteem takes a huge knock after being with them. They know how to make you feel less competent, or insecure.
  • You don’t really want to be in their company because they leave you feeling emotionally exhausted, isolated, and unconfident. You don’t always look forward to seeing them.
  • They want all your attention on-demand and disrespect your boundaries. They appear jealous of your other relationships, wanting you to themselves. They may even criticize your friends or relatives as part of their desire to control you.
  • They don’t celebrate your successes, and seem to actually prefer it when you are going through a tough time or struggling. Although they expect your support on call, they are often not available when you need help.
  • They tend to put you and other people down or cause humiliation through unsavoury or inappropriate jokes. This is done to make themselves feel better.
  • They often behave like a victim and blame others/you for negative events. They regularly show hurt and become defensive, which can make them hard work to be around. You may even feel that you are walking on eggshells around them.
  • You have a sinking feeling that they don’t have your best interests at heart and that you cannot trust them.

The most important thing is to decide whether this relationship is enriching your life or impacting negatively on your wellbeing.

You have the right to choose the people that impact your life.  If you have concerns, and need guidance to understand yourself and the relationship, and how to navigate healthy boundaries, please contact LifeAssist and let one of our professional counsellors support you.