Gaslighting is a form of emotional and psychological abuse and manipulation: False information is presented to the victim to make them doubt their own memory, perception, or judgement.

It is used by an abuser to gain power and control over the victim. It often happens in relationships where one person has power over the other, or when the abuser has a personality disorder or is trying to avoid accountability for their actions.

Some of the indicators are:

  • Blaming: Gaslighters often blame their victims for things that they are not responsible for, such as saying that the victim is “too sensitive” or “overreacting”.
  • Denial: They will often deny that an event or conversation ever took place. They may even deny the victim’s feelings or emotions.
  • Isolation: They may try to isolate their victims by limiting their access to friends, family, or other support systems.
  • Minimising: They usually try to minimise a victim’s feelings or experiences by saying that their feelings are wrong or invalid.
  • Manipulating: They often manipulate their victims by lying, withholding information, or twisting facts.
  • Deflecting: Gaslighters may deflect responsibility by shifting the blame onto their victims or someone else.

Some things that could be done when dealing with a gaslighter

  1. Try to recognize and name the behaviour. When you start to recognize the signs of gaslighting, it’s important to name them. This can help you to maintain control over the situation and to ensure that you don’t start to doubt your own reality.
  2. Trust your instincts. If something doesn’t feel right or you are starting to feel confused or manipulated, this is a sign that you may be dealing with gaslighting. You should trust your own instincts and not second-guess yourself.
  3. Don’t engage in debates. Gaslighters will often try to get you to engage in debates or arguments to prove your point. Don’t do this, as it will only feed the gaslighting cycle.
  4. Take care of yourself. Gaslighting can be emotionally draining, so it’s important to take care of yourself and make sure that you are getting enough rest, exercise, and nutrition to stay strong.
  5. Seek support. It’s also important to reach out to family, friends, or a mental health professional for support. This can help you to stay grounded and to feel less alone.

Gaslighting can have a damaging effect on the victim’s mental health and is a form of abuse.

If you would like to know more about gaslighting, or need counselling, please speak to a counsellor at LifeAssist for confidential support.