2017 July Articles

“Friendship is the hardest thing in the world to explain. It’s not something you learn in school. But if you haven’t learned the meaning of friendship, you really haven’t learned anything” (Muhammad Ali).

International Friendship Day is designed to foster friendships and bridge the gaps between race, colour, religion and other factors which keep us from enjoying friendship with one another. It was initially observed on 30 July but in most countries, including South Africa, it is now celebrated on the first Sunday in August.

Form friendship habits

• Let every one of your friends know how much you appreciate them with a card, a letter, a phone call, email or text. For instance, send “this made me think of you” emails whenever you see something of interest to a friend, or “I had a double thick malt at the Mall and thought of our senior year”.
• Practise random acts of kindness towards strangers and make some new friends.
• Smile at everyone you meet today, he or she may become your new best friend.
• Dedicate a song on the radio to your friends.
• Take pictures of yourself with your friends having fun together.
• Volunteer – it’s a great way to help others while also meeting new friends.
• Join or start a group, such as a book club, dinner club or sports team, to meet people with similar interests. By meeting in a group, you see a lot of people at once and create a social network, not just a one-on-one friendship. It’s a lot easier to maintain friendships with people if you have several friends in common.
• Walk a dog. Dog owners often stop and chat while their dogs sniff or play with each other. If you don’t own a dog, volunteer to walk dogs of a shelter or a local rescue group.
• Revisit your neighbourhood attractions. New arrivals to any town or city tend to visit these places first and often welcome opportunities to establish friendships.
• Remove your headphones and put your smartphone away while waiting in a queue at the supermarket or waiting for a bus. Making eye contact and exchanging small talk with strangers is great practice for making connections – and you never know where it may lead!
• Invite a neighbour or work colleague for a drink or to a movie. Be the one to break the ice. Your neighbour or colleague will thank you.
• Track down old friends via social media sites. Make the effort to reconnect and then turn your “online” friends into “real-world” friends by meeting for coffee instead of chatting on Facebook or Twitter.
• Carpool to work. Simply ask your colleagues if they would like to share rides. It’s a good conversation starter and will help you connect to people who live near you.

However, for close friendships to form takes time and even more time for those friendships to deepen. You need to nurture your existing friends as well as your new connections.

A note of caution: Don’t exchange personal information with strangers via social media, especially when they ask for personal communication details straight away. Take it slow and only arrange to meet when you feel safe to do so.

Sources

www.helpguide.org
www.gretchenrubin.com

 

 

If you want to have a friend, you first have to learn to be a friend. So if you want great friendships, you’ll want to master these seven habits of great friends.

1. Be forgiving

We all make mistakes and therefore forgiveness is essential for a friendship to last. While you have to draw boundaries for things you would accept and things that are just not worth the effort, it is essential that you truly forgive a friend when he or she is sincerely sorry. Of course, it is also important to ask for forgiveness when you have hurt a friend.

2. Don’t judge

A big part of having a long-lasting friendship involves the act of sharing feelings and often embarrassing details. For any relationship to grow, both persons should feel safe, that is not afraid of being judged. This increases the trust within a friendship, as well as a deeper connection between the two persons.

3. Be honest

Sometimes tough love is exactly what we need. Everyone deserves a friend who helps him or her grow as a person by being brutally honest about the things that he or she does not want to hear. Because it is said out of love and concern, it further strengthens the bond between true friends.

4. Be reliable

People who maintain friendships are usually dependable people. They are the kind of people who will pick you up at the airport, anytime of night or day. They don’t dodge your phone calls, or cancel appointments at the last minute. Knowing that you have someone like this in your life is empowering and a great comfort.

5. Be loyal

Being a loyal friend in these days of disposable friendships goes a long way. Those who’ve mastered this habit have friends for life. This means he or she doesn’t talk behind your back but rather have your back! Even more so, he or she will stand up for you when you’re not there to stand up for yourself.

6. Communicate well

Communication is a two-way street. It requires someone to talk and someone to listen, ask questions and seek out more information. Great friends know how to do this. They don’t need to talk endlessly about themselves. They want to know what’s in your life and are interested in your story. They are also uncanny in their ability to remember something you told them a month ago, and they follow up and ask you about it. Truly hearing a person makes him or her feel special.

7. Accept friends as they are

Friends often drive each other up the wall, but loving your friend unconditionally is essential. Even though her house is always spotless, your friend will easily ignore your pile of dirty dishes and choose to focus on all the wonderful things about you. Seeing the best in another person − that is acceptance.

Sources
Altschule, S. 10 Habits of People With Longstanding Friendships. Retrieved from https://www.bustle.com/articles/49874-10-habits-of-people-with-longstanding-friendships
Goldsmith, B. 10 Habits of Great Friends. Retrieved from https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/emotional-fitness/201310/10-habits-great-friends
Northrup, J. 7 Habits of Good Friendships. Retrieved from http://gethealthyu.com/7-habits-good-friendships/
Sampath, S. 7 Habits of a good friend. Retrieved from http://www.thehealthsite.com/fitness/7-habits-of-a-good-friend-p715/