Focus - Resilience Archives

Take pride in yourself and in your work

No matter your role in your company, taking pride in your work means that you feel good about your contributions to your job. People who take pride are more successful and happier, than those who don’t.

You matter
Regardless of your position or years of experience, you’re an important part of the business and what you do at work matters. Think about how your role helps your colleagues, clients, and even your family by contributing financially. Look at the bigger picture. For example, if you are responsible for cleaning the shop floor, be proud that you are helping to create a positive brand image for the company by ensuring a pleasant environment for shopping, creating repeat customers, and thus ensuring the company’s success. If you’re not sure how important your role is, just ask someone.

Daily improvements
You’ll ultimately be recognised if you become the person who adds value to everything that you do. Be hungry to learn: read, explore, self-learn, do more, do better. Offer suggestions or solutions to problems. Building a good reputation also helps you feel good about yourself.

Team player
You’re also more likely to feel pride in your work when you help fellow employees and treat everyone you encounter with respect and kindness, including your boss. Look for opportunities to praise your fellow employees and to be a helpful, and supportive team member.

Attitude and presentation matters
Your environment is what you make it; take pride in being a positive force at work. After all, you’re at work most of the day, so you might as well make it pleasant. Avoid negative thinking and negative people, complaining, and sub-standard work. Show up a few minutes early to prepare for the day and dress for success. As the old adage goes, your attitude determines your altitude (how high you go in your career). Looking good is part of feeling good and pride in your appearance helps to motivate you.

zara2022-02-25T08:26:23+00:00

Keeping the momentum after lockdown

COVID-19 has had a mental and emotional impact on many of us. It has disrupted our lives, creating a sense of restlessness, uncertainty and new concerns. We may find we are easily distracted and unable to stay focused. Goalposts keep changing, and just as we started to settle, lockdown eases and once again our routines and habits are disrupted.

A new rhythm

When changes occur, conscious effort and thought are required to adapt – at least at first. This may affect our energy and productivity. Suggestions to help you ease back into the flow:

Groovy tunes: Prepare a list of songs that inspire you to tackle the day. Some of them may be cheesy but whatever works to get you alive, alert and enthusiastic!

Boosters: What are the healthy habits that you know help keep you on track and productive? A clear list of graded tasks to achieve for the day, focusing on one task at a time? Scheduled five-minute breaks every hour? Healthy eating practices and an early night’s sleep?

Stay present: Notice when your thoughts and words focus on the past or the future, and gently guide them back to the present task. This helps sharpen concentration and performance.

Act on a new awareness: Lockdown was difficult but it allowed for reflection. We’re hopefully clearer about what and who is important to us, who we can rely on, and what behaviours distract us or dampen our enthusiasm. This can include gossiping or complaining, negative thoughts and self-pity.

Be gentle: Many people are struggling to focus and achieve right now. Be self-aware and take one step at a time to avoid falling into unproductive behaviours as you adjust to new realities.

Sources:

https://www.forbes.com/sites/jodiecook/2020/03/29/productivity-and-positivity/#7c1ba9f240f4

https://medium.com/@timsneath/staying-positive-and-productive-in-a-covid-19-world-ac6c76e2f8d5

https://www.hrzone.com/lead/culture/maintaining-productivity-whilst-transitioning-back-to-the-workplace

zara2021-04-01T08:02:49+00:00

Find your Character Strengths

Honesty, Loyalty, Appreciation of Beauty & Excellence, Hope & Optimism, Kindness, Fairness are some of the 24 Signature Strengths valued the world over.

When you discover your primary signature strengths that are authentic to you, and then lean into these when taking on a difficult, you will find challenges effortless and even experience joy and enthusiasm while using them. It is what Mihalyitzikcentmihalyi calls FLOW.

STEP 1

To find your Values in Action Signature Strengths visit: www.authentichappiness.sas.upenn.edu

VIA Survey of Character Strengths.

It is free. You will get your results immediately and can print them if you like.

It will take you 15 – 20 minutes.

STEP 2

Once you have your results, create a defined time each day that you will use one or more of your Signature Strengths.

For example:

If you find your strength is “Design and Beauty” spring clean a room, change the layout, accessorise the space etc.
If you find your strength is “Love of Learning”, acquire a new skill to tackle a difficult task. Perhaps you are struggling with a presentation, go online and learn a new PPT technique or new presentation skill.
If “Creativity, Ingenuity and Loyalty” is one of your character strengths, get your family to create an ingredient mystery basket for your turn to cook.
“Humour and Playfulness” is an opportunity to turn a chore into a game. Perhaps you have a daily task that you can turn into a time-based competition. Who completes the chore the quickest?

STEP 3

Martin Seligman suggests that you write about your experience.

How did you feel before, during and after the activity?
Was the activity challenging or easy?
Did time pass quickly?

“These positive psychology exercises worked on me, they worked on my family, they worked on my students, then taught to professionals and then worked on their clients, even very depressed clients. And the exercises even worked in the gold-standard testing of placebo-controlled, random assignment.” Martin Seligman

As you become more resilient, you will turn adversity to advantage with a healthy mindset and optimistic viewpoint. You will realise that you are never alone, as your Signature Strengths accompany you through every challenge.

If you are feeling overwhelmed, contact LifeAssist.

Confidential counselling is available to you and your household.

28 March 2020 Author: Ingrid Ashwin, The Wordstock Company

Cited works:

Seligman, M. (2011). Flourish. London Boston: Nicholas Brealy.

Seligman, M. (1990, 1998, 2006). Learned Optimism . New York: Vintage Books.

zara2021-04-09T08:08:50+00:00

Find your child’s Strengths to tackle difficult things with ease.

This activity is best suited to children older than 10 (depending on their maturity). It is valuable for strengthening the relationship, as the exchange of Signature Strengths creates a common ground for the parent and the child.

Primary Signature Strengths are authentic to You. You can lean into these when taking on a difficult task, and transform a potentially overwhelming challenge into a seemingly effortless Flow, and even experience joy and enthusiasm while using them.

Discover your Signature Strengths and then help your child to discover their own strengths. Just knowing their Signature Strengths will make your child feel valid, authentic and special.

To find your child’s Values in Action Signature Strengths visit: https:www.authentichappiness.sas.upenn.edu

VIA Strength Survey for children.

It is free and you will get your results immediately and can print them if you like.

It will take you 15 – 20 minutes.

Teach your child how to use their strengths.

Having learned my child’s Values in Action, I found better ways to motivate him, and through practising these together, he learned how to apply his values and strengths to daily challenges.

With his first Signature Strength being “Spirituality”, I taught him how to pray when he felt anxious or sad.

His second strength was “Fairness, Equity and Justice”, so when he was saddened by a child being bullied, I taught him how to pray for and stand up for the victim. I also realised that if he was in a situation of unfairness it would upset him, more so than perhaps others. I made sure he always felt that he was treated fairly and equally within our home.

His third strength was “Curiosity”, which is about asking questions, exploring the world and finding a fascination in topics and subjects. This was a win when it came to homework trauma. If he was, (which was mostly the case) disinterested in homework, I would steer him toward research and interesting discussion around the subject.

Knowing that “Honesty and Authenticity” was his fifth Signature Strength, I realised that even a “white-lie” would be frowned upon and quickly learned to engage with him without pretence.

Within days I noticed a remarkable difference. This was a “cup half empty” child that quickly became “a cup half full” wonderful and peaceful person.

Parents and teenagers can contact LifeAssist for confidential counselling and guidance. This service is available 24/7. Confidentiality is assured.

28 March 2020: Author: Ingrid Ashwin, The Wordstock Company

Cited works:

Seligman, M. (2011). Flourish. London Boston: Nicholas Brealy.

Seligman, M. (1990, 1998, 2006). Learned Optimism . New York: Vintage Books.

zara2021-04-09T08:06:25+00:00

“Resilience is not an inborn trait; it can be acquired.” Martin Seligman

It is time to think more about what goes right in our lives, rather than what goes wrong. Robust laboratory research around the world offers compelling evidence that the way we think about our health will change our health.

Why does an 86-year old lady, who survived Hitler, open-heart surgery, both knee and hip replacements, fractured ribs and spine more recently, and a week in intensive care, survive the Coronavirus?

Seligman’s research highlights:

Optimists catch fewer infectious diseases than pessimists do.
Our immune system may work better when we are optimistic.

Why should you unlearn pessimism? Seligman suggests that if we let pessimism get a grip, we will accomplish less and even get physically sick more often.

Now is a good time to explore every means to boost our optimism and acquire some healthy thinking habits.

10 DAILY HABITS FOR WELLBEING DURING LOCKDOWN

Practice each of these daily during lockdown to experience the uplifting change during tough times that will serve you well in your future.

Seek out Positive Relationships

Virtually and in person, surround yourself with people who make you feel cared for, make you laugh, who give you a sense of meaning and purpose and in whose’ company you feel joyful.

“Positive people are the best antidote to the downs of life” Martin Seligman

Accomplishment

During lockdown you may find yourself feeling unable to achieve what Norton and our world of work describe as “Big Hairy Audacious Goals”. Seek out and celebrate “Small, Sleek and Savvy Successes”. Master a new recipe, find new ways to cut your monthly overheads, repurpose a tired piece of furniture, teach your child a new skill. The opportunities are plentiful and will give you an enduring sense of satisfaction.

Random Acts of Kindness

The exacting point here is ALL about, random and unplanned. Find an unexpected kind thing to do today and every day. Even during lockdown, the opportunities are plentiful.

Meaning and Purpose

This is particularly challenging for people who are accustomed to work being their primary source of meaning and purpose. Find and do things that make you feel valued. Use your skills and talents to help a friend or family member.

Express your Gratitude Prolifically, Persistently and Perpetually

Think and speak of all things Good in your life. Find at least 10 things each day that you feel grateful for. Think of the good things that happened to you each day. E.g. A sunny day, welcome rain, a loving pet, a funny friend, a warm meal, a funny friend. Better still take a picture and share it with your friends and loved ones.

Unlearn Pessimism

“Life inflicts the same setbacks and tragedies on the optimist as on the pessimist, but the optimist weathers them better.” Martin Seligman

Change the destructive things you say to yourself when you experience setbacks. View bad events as a setback and not a disaster. View bad events as temporary and good events as permanent.

“Bad events will persist and will affect our lives. An optimist will respond to these as temporary.” Martin Seligman

This too Shall Pass

Choose to be a “cup half full” rather than a “cup half empty”. The most important thing during a crisis is to view it as temporary. Plan and think about your life and future beyond the crisis.

Focus on the Bright Side

Find the bright side to each setback. Every day as you experience or anticipate a setback find the upside possibility. Translate your thinking from bad to good.

By example. You can choose to think there is 50% chance I will contract the Coronavirus, or there is 50% chance I will not contract the Coronavirus.

Be Hopeful rather than Hopeless

By example, the Coronavirus will destroy the world economy or Coronavirus will change the way we build our economy and operate our businesses in the future, or global lockdown is giving our planet a chance to heal. Translate your hopeless thoughts into hopeful ones.

“People who make permanent and universal explanations of their troubles, tend to collapse under pressure, both for a long time and across situations.”

Martin Seligman, Learned Optimism

Be Specific versus Universal, and vice versa

By example, you could think “politicians are useless”, or alternatively you could rather think “corrupt politicians are useless”.

Vice versa, you could think universally “the world is doomed” or alternatively you could rather think specifically “the world is in trouble in 2020”.

These core ideas are key to combatting helplessness – a giving-up reaction – and depression. They are inspired by the architect of “positive psychology”, Martin Seligman.

If you are experiencing feelings of helpless, or need guidance to make a positive mind shift, contact LifeAssist for counselling and advice.

28 March 2020: Author: Ingrid Ashwin, The Wordstock Company

Cited works: Seligman, M. (2011). Flourish. London Boston: Nicholas Brealy.
Seligman, M. (1990, 1998, 2006). Learned Optimism . New York: Vintage Books.

zara2021-03-11T12:11:50+00:00

Tips for Adapting to Change

Dealing with a big change in your life can be challenging, as your everyday routine is disrupted and your sense of security is shaken. Here are some tips on adapting to change in a healthy way, for anyone facing a big upheaval – this could mean moving to a new city, changing jobs, or ending a relationship. Just remember that immediately after a big change, you should not make any hasty decisions as they tend to be informed by negative emotion and can often be harmful choices. Wait a while before making any BIG decisions.

Accept the Change and Reframe Your Thinking

Sometimes changes take place in our lives that are beyond our control. Instead of fighting a losing battle against an inevitable change, it’s helpful to accept that there are some things you can’t control, and get comfortable with that idea. Next, reframe the way you’re thinking about the upcoming change. Instead of a crisis or a setback, look at it as an opportunity to grow and learn.

Look for the Positives

List the pros and cons of the change, and focus on the positive aspects of the situation. Perhaps your new job is scary and intimidating, but the pay is better than your last job, or the commute is shorter. Some positives are less obvious than others, so keep looking until you find the bright side – focusing on the pros can help you manage the change with a calmer mind-set.

Manage Your Stress Levels

Getting proactive about stress management will make it easier to cope with and adapt to an upcoming change. Look after yourself carefully during times of stress. That means following a balanced diet, getting regular exercise, getting enough rest and taking time to relax or meditate.

Look for Support

If you’re feeling overwhelmed by a big change, don’t go through it alone. Communicate with your friends, family or co-workers. Seek out a support group. In especially serious cases, reach out to a professional counsellor. Getting the emotional support that you need will help you to tackle change successfully.

Change can be frightening, but it can also present an exciting opportunity to experience new things!

Sources:

5 Tips for Adapting to Change. Retrieved from: https://www.tipsonlifeandlove.com/self-help/tips-to-adapt-to-change

7 Tips for Dealing with Change. Retrieved from: https://au.reachout.com/articles/7-tips-for-dealing-with-change

zara2021-03-16T08:03:07+00:00

How Emotional Intelligence Promotes Emotional Health

Emotional health is the ability to recognise, express and manage your feelings in a healthy and productive way – and in order to do this, you need good emotional intelligence. Emotional intelligence is often seen as a defining factor in those who are professionally and socially successful. It’s a skill set that allows you to navigate social situations and conflicts.

Cultivating strong emotional intelligence allows you to practice better empathy, reasoning, communication skills and stress management. This contributes to living a happier, healthier and more balanced life overall.

What is Emotional Intelligence?

Emotional intelligence (or EQ) can be defined as the ability to recognise and manage your own emotions, and the emotions of others.

Psychologist and science journalist Daniel Goleman pioneered and popularised the concept of emotional intelligence in the 1990s. Goleman believes that emotional intelligence is an important indicator of outstanding performance and leadership.

The Four Pillars of Emotional Intelligence

Self Awareness:

The ability to know yourself and understand your feelings.
An accurate understanding of your own strengths and weaknesses.
A sense of self-confidence and willingness to put yourself forward.

Self Management:

Controlling and expressing your feelings in an appropriate way.
Being able to work towards your goals.
Motivating yourself and staying motivated despite setbacks.
Honesty, integrity and trustworthiness.
Adapting to change as necessary.
An overall positive outlook.

Social Awareness:

Empathy, the ability to connect with others, and understand and acknowledge others’ emotions.
Helpfulness, contributing to group efforts, good listening skills.
The ability to explain yourself well, and awareness of how you are being understood.

Relationship Management:

The ability to act as a leader, role model or mentor.
Motivating others and articulating thoughts in a clear, persuasive way.
Managing conflict and settling disputes, negotiating and improving relationships.
Recognising and supporting the need for change.
Helping others to develop.
Effective teamwork and collaboration.

The first two pillars are focused on how you manage yourself (personal competence), and the last two pillars describe how you relate to other people (social competence).

The Importance of Emotional Intelligence

Your ability to manage your emotions is a big defining factor in how others perceive you, and has a major impact on your professional and personal relationships. Those with better emotional intelligence are often perceived as more mature, reasonable and pleasant to deal with.

By working to improve your EQ skills, you can strengthen the relationships with others in all areas of your life.

Sources:

Emotional Intelligence. Retrieved from: https://www.psychologytoday.com/za/basics/emotional-intelligence

Daniel Goleman. Retrieved from: http://www.danielgoleman.info/topics/emotional-intelligence/

The 4 Pillars of Emotional Intelligence and Why they Matter: http://p4s.pt/en/the-4-pillars-of-emotional-intelligence-and-why-they-matter/

The Importance of Emotional Intelligence: https://positivepsychology.com/importance-of-emotional-intelligence/

zara2021-04-01T14:35:36+00:00

Improving work relationships after a restructuring

The process of restructuring in an organisation is stressful. So too are the consequences on the remaining workforce. If not managed well, your organisation may pay the price in lost productivity, poor morale and damaged market reputation for years to come.

Uncertainty, anxiety and depression in employees may arise from organisational restructuring and changes to the way work is done. Survivor guilt might also creep into the equation as remaining employees may have doubts whether or not they were more deserving to remain employed when compared with their colleagues (and often best friends) whose positions were made redundant.

To keep your business moving toward a positive direction, you’ll need to learn how to improve work relationships between employees and managers.

The following steps may help to improve work relationships after an organisational restructuring:

- Acknowledge that the responses of remaining employees after a restructuring are entirely normal and allow some time for new methods to yield results, new relationships to be forged and confidence to be restored

- Hold weekly meetings between employees and managers to keep everyone up to date with the latest changes and needs of the business

- Maintain high levels of employee involvement in decisions that affect them

- Encourage open communication. Allow employees and managers to speak about any current issues happening in the business

- Open the lines of communication to everyone. Having all departments work together and remain informed about what is going on in the next department will prevent unnecessary distrust

- Listen without judgement to employees’ concerns

- Offer clarity about employees’ roles if changed

- Offer support and be generous with training in the new ways of doing business

- Spread truthful optimism about the employees’ future in the business. If this remains uncertain, don’t promise what you can’t deliver

- Set up a suggestion portal. Some of the best ideas for a business have been proposed by the employees and managers who work there. Once you implement the new suggestion, make sure that you credit the employee or manager who first came up with it.

After a restructuring, employee trust in the organisation and its leaders may be bruised, but it can be restored if the leaders are able to demonstrate that the organisation can make and keep its promises.

Sources

http://www.ehow.com
http://EzineArticles.com

(Revised by M van Deventer)

2021-04-01T10:38:01+00:00

Independence – what it is

The great Abraham Lincoln said: “You cannot build character and courage by taking away man’s initiative and independence.” The same goes for a women.

What independent people look like

Some emotional intelligence experts believe independence is one of the cornerstones of personal effectiveness and success. They point out the following characteristics and attributes of people who are independent:

- They strive to be the masters of their own destiny

- They are free of emotional dependency on others

- They are not afraid to ask for what they want

- They don’t give up if they do not immediately get what they are after

- They are not afraid to try new things

- They make decisions on their own path, rather than follow the crowd

- They don’t have the same urge to fit in or be popular as dependent people do

- They are not driven by what others expect of them

- They have the courage to leave jobs and relationships if it does not meet their needs.

What it takes to become more independent

The search for independence is the search for oneself. “To become independent you need to be assertive and be able to say: this is who I am, what I like, and what I believe in” (S and G Bower).

Being independent requires a large amount of self-regard and courage. To be independent you have to believe in yourself as there are times when you have to make your own decisions, that is without having support from others.

In striving for independence you can run the risk of becoming unpopular, as independence is often mistaken for arrogance and independent people are often mistaken for being bad team players.

Developing independence can be a powerful journey of self-discovery, and establishing independence will allow you to take effective control of all aspects of your life.

Our Employee Wellbeing Programme (EWP) is available 24 hours a day of you wanted to know more about developing independence.

Sources:

Bower, Gordon H & Bower, Sharon. 1991. Asserting Yourself. De Capo Press
Deutschendorf, Harvey. 2009. The Other Kind of Smart. AMACOM Books
www.finestquotes.com

2021-04-01T10:31:35+00:00

Eight steps towards a more satisfying life

Want to lift your level of happiness? Here are some practical suggestions from University of California psychologist Sonja Lyubomirsky. Satisfaction or at least a temporary boost, is guaranteed!

Count your blessings

Gratitude list or journal. Make a list of everything and everyone for whom you are grateful. Write until you run out of things to write about. Then I recommend you do two things with this list:

- Keep it handy, in a place where you can regularly see it. We all need the reminder.

- Keep adding to it. This keeps gratitude in the present and the future.

Or, alternatively, in your gratitude journal, write down three to five things for which you are currently thankful — from the mundane (your peonies are in bloom) to the magnificent (a child’s first steps). Do this once a week, say, on Sunday night. Keep it fresh by varying your entries as much as possible.

Practice acts of kindness/Gratitude action

In addition to those mentioned above, what actions can you take on a consistent basis to demonstrate your gratitude? How can you demonstrate that you understand that “yours is a life of great privilege”? In a tough economy, in any economy, there are always those who have it tougher than you. What actions can you take on a regular basis to help out? It’s a great way to model gratitude for your children, too.

These should be both random (let that harried mom go ahead of you in the checkout line) and systematic (bring Sunday supper to an elderly neighbour). Being kind to others, whether friends or strangers, triggers a cascade of positive effects — it makes you feel generous and capable,gives you a greater sense of connection with others and wins you smiles, approval and reciprocated kindness — all happiness boosters.

An idea for Christmas presents is to forfeit them. “Am I crazy?” you ask. Get your family to agree to it beforehand and instead buy gifts for the less fortunate and, as a family, deliver them on Christmas morning.

Savour life’s joys/Mindfulness

Pay close attention(be mindful) of all of your experiences from momentary pleasures and wonders to the sweetness of a ripe strawberry or the warmth of the sun when you step out from the shade. Some psychologists suggest taking “mental photographs” of pleasurable moments to review in less happy times.

Thank a mentor

If there’s someone to whom you owe a debt of gratitude for guiding you at one of life’s crossroads, don’t wait to express your appreciation — in detail and, if possible, in person.

- Gratitude call. Call someone to whom you are grateful. Tell them specifically what you are grateful for and the difference they have made in your life.

- Gratitude email. Email someone to whom you are grateful. Having it in writing means much. I have printed out emails that thanked me for certain things. Some are on the wall in my office, some are in a file. They are great reminders.

- Gratitude letter. Remember letters? They still exist. They still work. And they make quite an impression in this world of easy and instant communication. They can become someone’s treasures

Learn to forgive

Letgo of anger and resentment by writing a letter of forgiveness to a person who has hurt or wronged you. Inability to forgive is associated with persistent rumination or dwelling on revenge, while forgiving allows you to move on.

Investime and energy in friends and family

Where you live, how much money you make, your job title and even your health have surprisingly small effects on your satisfaction with life. The biggest factor appears to be strong personal relationships.

Take care of your body

Getting plenty of sleep, exercising, stretching, smiling and laughing can all enhance your mood in the short term. Practised regularly, they can help make your daily life more satisfying.

Develop strategies for coping with stress and hardships/Build your resilience

There is no avoiding hard times. Religious faith has been shown to help people cope, but so do the secular beliefs enshrined in axioms like “This too shall pass” and “That which doesn’t kill me makes me stronger”. The trick is that you have to believe them.

Our Employee Wellbeing Programme (EWP) is available 24 hours if you want to discuss this or any other wellbeing matter.

2021-04-12T10:32:31+00:00

Focus – Resilience

VIA Survey of Character Strengths.

VIA Strength Survey for children.