2020 December Articles Archives

Managing your medical expenses

Often medical expenses are out of your control. From minor mishaps that need a visit to the GP to major crises that require urgent and on-going hospital treatment, the expenses can pile up quickly and create unmanageable debt before you know it. What we do know is that whether you are fit and healthy or living with a chronic condition you will need medical treatment at one time or another. Planning ahead will help you to manage these expenses when the time comes without going into debt that takes years to pay off.

If you can afford one, get some form of private health insurance cover or medical aid. Speak to a broker and or financial planner to gather as much information as you can before choosing a cover that suits your needs. It’s worthwhile making sacrifices in other areas so that you can afford one.
Understand exactly how your health insurance and or medical aid plan works as well as what benefits are available to you. Remembering that just because the benefits are available on your plan doesn’t mean you automatically get them. Often you have to apply or request them.
Negotiate your bills. Often treatment providers are willing to give discounts or preferential rates based on your circumstances. It doesn’t hurt to ask!
Even if you have private health insurance and or medical aid plan, the bills remain 100% your responsibility. After a procedure, double check that all bills have been sent to your health insurer, medical aid as well as yourself, to avoid being surprised with a call by a debt collector for a bill that you didn’t even know existed.
If you get a medical bill that you can’t afford, contact the treatment provider immediately to arrange a payment plan. It won’t go away if you ignore it and you can avoid paying unnecessary interest.
Consider starting a medical savings account that can be used for unexpected bills.
If you don’t understand items on your bill, query it.

Putting the differences aside

In any relationship, there is bound to be conflict from time to time, and that is no different in relationships between family members.

Emotional intelligence (EQ) in the context of the family comes down to the following basic principle. It is a balance between your short-term needs (expressing frustration when a family member does something that makes you angry) versus your long-term desire for the relationship (continued good family relations). It is finding a balance between immediately responding to a situation in an angry or aggressive manner or waiting until you are calm to address the issue in a constructive and rational way. In order to control your angry outburst, you first need to develop your self-awareness (recognising early on in a conversation that you are getting irritated) and self-regulation (finding ways to manage one’s negative emotions or disruptive emotions).

EQ does not mean that you avoid conflict, but rather that you address it constructively in order to ensure your long-term desire for a happy and productive relationship.

So how you handle the conflict is more important than the actual conflict. Your approach can either be helpful or unhelpful. Let’s look at ways to constructively handle conflict within your family:

Count to ten. Do not allow yourself to immediately respond in an angry or aggressive manner. We often respond with anger very quickly and without much thought.
Be polite. Remember that the conflict also impacts everyone around you. If you are too angry to try to resolve it right now, just be polite until you are in a better space. For everyone’s sake.
Try to resolve the conflict when you are feeling calm. When the time is right, approach the person to have a one-on-one chat about what happened.
Be prepared to have a difficult conversation. Just because you are willing to resolve the issue doesn’t mean it will be easy to resolve, but it will be worth it.
Offer a sincere apology for your part in the conflict as well as potential solutions for the way forward.
If you have the same disagreement with a family member time and time again, prepare yourself before you see that person. Consider how you could respond differently to prevent conflict. Instead of getting sucked into the same old argument, you could choose not to engage in that part of the conversation or to change the subject.
If a resolution isn’t possible, try to work through your resentment and anger in a healthy way and let it go.

Sources:

https://raisingchildren.net.au/grown-ups/family-life/routines-rituals-relationships/good-family-relationships

https://www.verywellmind.com/how-to-handle-unresolved-conflict-in-your-family-3144978

https://cyc-net.org/cyc-online/cyconline-feb2010-ing.html

http://www.goodchoicesgoodlife.org/choices-for-better-parenting/managing-family-conflict/