Although it’s only natural that you’ll establish friendships with your colleagues at work, it’s bound to get complicated when you are friends with your boss!
Who’s the boss?
Having a healthy, positive and trusting relationship with your boss is a good thing. It becomes a bit more complicated when your boss is, or later becomes, one of your best friends at work. It will take some effort to keep your close bond with your boss on an ethical, honest, natural, happy and healthy footing without antagonising your co-workers. So, make sure you set some boundaries and you know the do’s and don’ts of such a relationship.
Balancing a buddy-boss relationship
Here are a few hints to help you successfully balance your personal and professional relationship with your boss:
- Guard against familiarity becoming contempt; never forget that your boss is indeed your superior in the workplace and he or she is your boss first and your buddy or friend second. After all, your “buddy” can fire you and when a boss-employee relationship turns sour, life at work can become sheer hell!
- Don’t flaunt your close relationship with your boss in the office unless you want to become the most hated person there. Win the respect and trust of your co-workers by being a good team member independent of your relationship with your boss.
- Never ever ask or expect special favours or treatment from your boss. A genuine, friendly worker-boss relationship is going to make it difficult for your boss too. He or she will have to guard against anything that looks like favouritism when dealing with work assignments, work performance and promotions. Make sure you get what you deserve and nothing more and make this clear to your “friend” right from the start.
- You don’t have to hide your friendly relationship with your boss but do censor what you tell your co-workers about your interactions outside the office. A true friend won’t “kiss and tell”.
- Make a point of not gossiping about your co-workers when you are with your boss. In fact, it’s a good idea to refrain from discussing any work-related issues when you are together as friends and out of the office.
- Another good idea is occasionally to invite all your co-workers to join you (and the boss) for a drink or some informal social gathering after hours. Make doubly sure it doesn’t sound as if you are inviting them on behalf of yourself and your boss or as a “couple”!
- Watch what you reveal and post on social media about your “friendship” with your boss. You may embarrass him or her horribly and vice versa. If your boss is of the opposite gender it becomes even more dangerous and a light-hearted compliment or remark can easily be taken the wrong way and even seen as sexual harassment.
- Although friendship with your boss entails some do’s and don’ts and involves some serious ethical considerations, it’s definitely not all hard work, gloom and doom.
Friendship is a beautiful thing. According to research results friendships formed in the workplace, where shared experiences, challenges and stresses bring people together, are often stronger and more emotionally supportive than any other! So, if you genuinely like your boss and would like to be friends or if you were friends before he or she became your boss, cultivate and nurture the friendship!
Sources
Dillon, K. 2014. Can you be friends with your boss? Retrieved from: https://hbr.org/2014/11/can-you-be-friends-with-your-boss
The normal person’s guide to being friends with your boss (without making things weird). Retrieved from: https://www.themuse.com/advice/the-normal-persons-guide-to-being-friends-with-your-boss-without-making-things-weird