Are you being manipulated?

By learning how to spot situations where you might be in danger of being manipulated by someone whose motives may not be in your favour, you can learn how to protect yourself.

Warning signs

Watch out for “new” friends at work, such as right after a big job promotion. If that promotion involves being a boss or supervisor, beware of people trying to butter up to you simply because you’re the new boss. This doesn’t mean that you should assume anyone who is being friendly is trying to take advantage of you, but don’t get into a situation where your personal involvement with them interferes with doing your job well.

Clever tactics

Manipulators are kings and queens in the art of getting their own way:

• • They compliment you more often (assuming they ever did), particularly with regard to your valuable skills, knowledge and experience.

• • You suddenly become this person’s “buddy”, “pal” or “friend”. He or she might use your first or last names more often than normal. The “requester” smiles at you more often, but the smile never reaches his or her eyes.

• • They seem interested in what you are doing. However, these are often shallow expressions of interest followed by impatience and rapid shift of subject or attention. Manipulators are always looking for opportunities and can be distracted rather easily.

• • They seem eager to please you. You’ll get the occasional gift or freebie from a manipulator. Just remember that a manipulator is too smart or cheap to invest a lot of money in you at this point, so they probably didn’t pay for the gifts.

• • The “requester” makes public expressions of support and need for you that reek of flattery.

Learning to work with other people is a valuable skill. However, the manipulator, a person who attempts to motivate while hiding their true intentions, is best avoided whenever possible.

 

Sources
How to deal with manipulative people.| eHow.com
www.socyberty.com
www.wikihow.com