Have you ever really thought about the phrase “Actions speak louder than words”? Children (and spouses) prosper when they feel appreciated and loved and it is important to shower them with encouraging words but it is equally important to have your actions match your words. Words to show appreciation, love, approval and happiness should be reinforced with hugs, a pat on the back or a smile.

Parents as role models

Parents are role models for their children and children learn best by observing their parents’ behaviour. It is hard for a child to believe that it’s not acceptable to do something that one or both of his or her parents do, for example smoking or swearing. They will copy what they see far more readily than they will follow the instruction they hear. Parents are powerful beings and it is important to value that power and pass on positive role modelling through actions and words.

Don’t be afraid to show your child that actions do have consequences. When your child is breaking the rules, use actions, for example time-outs, loss of privileges, grounding or extra chores, to reinforce the boundaries.

Children will also learn by what they see modelled in society or on the TV or movie screen, but the model that most closely affect them is the model they see at home. Do they see Mom and Dad looking out for each other, helping, supporting and encouraging each other? Or do they see Mom and Dad saying one thing but showing something entirely different by the way in which they speak to one another or by the things they do?

Cultivate acts of love

Feeling loved is the best feeling in the world. When was the last time you actually showed your spouse and children how much you love them? Start a new ‘acts of love’ tradition by asking each family member what you could do to make him or her feel loved. Then, as a family, choose an idea for each day or week. It can be to bake something, take a family walk, play a game or make popcorn and watch a movie together. With a bit of luck your acts of love will catch on and your children will want to do the same with their own families one day, setting their own good example.

Our Employee Wellbeing Programme (EAP) is available 24 hours a day if you want to know more about a happy family life.