A good customer had just left over service issues and Sarah, the office manager, had just resigned. “Why didn’t Sarah tell me she was unhappy?” asked John, the owner of an electrical contracting business. “She did, several times, but you just didn’t listen”, replied Mark, John’s operational manager.

Mark added, “John, we have worked together many years and as a friend and colleague, I need to tell you this: you don’t want to listen to anything negative”.

John squirmed.

Mark went on, “And about the big customer who just departed, I told you three times that he was unhappy with the speed of our work, but you refused to let me put more people on the project to get the job done on time. I explained to you that the customer was becoming increasingly discontented, but you ignored me”. John jumped in, “What! I never heard you say that”. “That is precisely my point”, responded Mark, as he walked away.

This is an all too common situation, but it shouldn’t be.

One of the most important workplace skills is developing and demonstrating good listening skills, especially when we are challenged by the negative message. Most of us misjudge how well we encourage others to express concerns. Often, we send signals that we don’t want to hear bad news. If you:

    • Become angry and defensive when told the facts, colleagues will just stop relating if they believe any response is going to be anger
    • Appear indifferent, don’t pay attention, or become impatient, you send the clear message that you don’t want to hear the facts
    • Don’t have the time to listen right then, and then fail to meet to discuss the problem, you are also saying that you don’t want to hear anything negative.

The goal is not to immediately establish that you are right. Rather, the goal needs to be to achieve understanding of what is said and determine if some action is required.

How do you do this? By developing the habit of asking qualifying questions. Rephrase what was said to confirm that you understood what was said. When general statements are made, ask for examples. When Mark shared earlier that a customer was unhappy because work was slow, rather than shrugging off the concern, John should have asked for specific examples and also asked, “Exactly what did the customer say?” John would then have developed more knowledge and understanding with the service issues.

Asking, “Why do you think that?” or “Can you help me understand that thought?” will also encourage people to share the details you need.

Another clarifying question worth asking is, “How would that work?” This gives the person an opportunity to explain a concept in more detail.

When you hear “bad” news, genuinely listen, then determine if the information is correct or not. Then you can take necessary action and keep the door of communication open that will help everyone in the business.

Our Employee Wellbeing Programme (EAP) is available 24 hours a day if you want to brush up on your communication skills.