Valuing the elderly in our lives

How wonderful it is to meet someone whose life is a constant inspiration, particularly when that person is of an age when most people are difficult and demanding.

My friend Fernanda is well into her 80s. Her life has not always been easy, but she does not dwell on her problems. Once a busy university lecturer used to a full and active life, she never complains that failing energy has placed limits on her life.

She speaks of her late husband with love and pride, remembering that soon after they met they knew they were meant for each other. Together they survived many hardships, including the loss of a home full of furniture and possessions when they had to leave Mozambique in a hurry because of the war. In all the time I’ve known her, I have never heard a negative word cross her lips. She speaks only words of encouragement and praise.

She has the ability to develop deep friendships. Her small flat is always open to others and she showers them with kindness and hospitality.

Fernanda believes that the effects of our feelings show through our face and our body; that we record our inner life within ourselves. ‘We have no secret thoughts, what is inside comes forth’, she says. Her own sweet, serene face demonstrates this.

She once sent me the following 10 affirmations for self-transformation and lives up to every one of them:

• • Never antagonise anyone or anything

• • Never complain, criticise or condemn

• • Make the best of every occasion

• • Live only in the present

• • Live in a cheerful world

• • When things are not to your liking, like them as they are

• • When you do not get what you want, take what you can get and call it good

• • Look for the best everywhere

• • Expect the best from everybody

• • Give your best to the world.

Our Employee Wellbeing Programme (EWP) is available 24 hours a day if you want to know more about living with the elderly.