Divorce is one of the most traumatic periods in a person’s life, second only to the death of a loved one. Separation and divorce are often associated with deep emotions of grief over the loss of the relationship. Emotions may include sadness, lethargy, depression, anxiety, anger and other emotions. However, when you stay in charge of yourself, there is life after divorce.
Emotional implications
Surprisingly, research shows that women are far less saddened or devastated by divorce than men, but ultimately it depends on the individual.
The emotional trauma can be exacerbated when the couples go through a difficult and “messy” divorce. It is better to resolve disputes through mediation than to try and fight in a court of law. A collaborative divorce is less likely to add to the emotional trauma and is better suited when an ongoing relationship is needed, such as for future parenting.
Relationships after divorce
After going through all the negativity prior to your divorce and the divorce itself, it’s easy to lose faith in the opposite gender. Eventually the hurt eases and you begin to notice your surroundings, maybe even begin to think about dating again. During this phase you may meet someone special who makes you feel valued and important. While it may be scary, enjoy your first relationship after divorce.
Rebuilding your life
At first, even though you may have to force yourself, you should just go out and associate with other people. Accept the fact that other people don’t immediately recognise you as a divorced man or woman.
Almost all people who have gone through a divorce go through transitional partners during their healing process. They’re the special friends that ease a divorced person through the trauma; they’re good to them; they listen to them; they’re sensitive to their needs, but never demanding.
It’s great to find transitional partners, but be aware of your own situation and their usefulness to you and don’t allow yourself to end up marrying to one of them too soon. You may care about him or her a great deal, and feel sure that he or she is the answer to all your dreams. Take your time and make completely sure that he or she is the ideal spouse for you, and parent for your children.
Our Employee Wellbeing Programme (EAP) is available 24 hours a day if you want to know more about life after divorce.