Having to support adult unemployed children still living at home can be very traumatic and difficult during these tough financial times. Fortunately there are ways and means to successfully minimise stress and tension in the home and live together in peace and harmony.
Unemployment is rampant in South Africa
The ideal for every individual who has the necessary education and skills is to be employed. Unfortunately, South Africa has one of the highest unemployment rates in the world and young people, who make up almost half the population, are especially hard hit. According to a new report by the World Bank South Africa economic update, almost one-third of the labour force is out of work or discouraged, and unemployment among the young (15 to 24 years of age) is almost 50%, double the national rate.
In the first three months of 2015, South Africa’s unemployment or jobless rate jumped to 26.4%, the highest rate since 2005, but decreased to 25% in the second quarter of 2015. Unemployment rates averaged 25.27% from 2000 until 2015, reaching an all-time high of 31.20% in the first quarter of 2003 and a record low of 21.50% in the fourth quarter of 2008.
Home sweet home
Unemployed young people who are able and willing to earn their own income to provide in their basic needs may become frustrated while they struggle to find suitable employment. During this time they may have to rely on their parents to support them morally as well as financially. Being thus unempowered, their tempers may flare and emotions may explode, leading to conflict in the home and, eventually, to hostility between parents and young adult children. Tough financial times contribute to tension and stress. It is therefore necessary to develop a working plan in order to manage the situation as best you can for the sake of all the inhabitants of your home.
The following tips may help you to manage your household in such a way that everybody understands and appreciates the situation:
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- Discuss unemployment openly with all the members of your family without embarrassing the youngster concerned. Explain the difficult financial times and the extent of unemployment in South Africa and elsewhere in the world.
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- The unemployed child will need financial support to buy the most necessary items for his or her personal needs and to enable him or her to go out and try to find employment. Without any money of his or her own, the temptation to borrow from others or even to steal money or go on a shoplifting spree becomes a dangerous reality.
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- Explain clearly to unemployed adult children what your expectations are regarding how the money you provide should be spent. However, you have to be reasonable. If your child is in the habit of smoking, for example don’t force him or her to quit immediately, but try to restrict the number of cigarettes smoked per day and encourage him or her to try and quit as soon as possible. Make it very clear that the use of drugs or excessive alcohol is completely inadmissible.
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- Be clear on house rules. Every child, including your unemployed adult child, must know exactly what he or she may and may not do. That includes his or her responsibilities and duties towards housekeeping such as keeping common areas clean and tidying his or her own room.
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- While unemployed, the young adult has to be available to help with ordinary household tasks, for example preparing meals, washing dishes, washing the car and mowing the lawn. On the other hand, he or she should have enough free time to search for employment.
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- Talk to him or her about attitude and behaviour while staying with you. Be clear on what you will not allow.
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- Make sure to gain your child’s trust and support him or her as well as you can with the necessary understanding and respect for his or her difficult situation.
Hopefully you will be able to manage the situation in such a way that your child will not exploit your love and kindness but appreciate your help and support. His or her acceptance of your house rules and his or her cooperation in making things run smoothly at home will help to minimise the stress and tension in the home and help all concerned to live together in peace and harmony. In addition, your home will remain the place where your child will feel safe and loved.
Sources
Fact sheet: Unemployment statistics in South Africa explained. Retrieved from: https://africacheck.org/factsheets/factsheet-unemployment-statistics-in-south-africa-explained/
South Africa unemployment is worse now than at the end of apartheid. 2015. Retrieved from: http://businesstech.co.za/news/government/95983/south-africa-unemployment-is-worse-now-than-at-the-end-of-apartheid/
South Africa Unemployment Rate: 2000-2015. Retrieved from: http://www.tradingeconomics.com/south-africa/unemployment-rate
(Revised by M van Os)