When confronted with the diagnosis of a chronic disease there is often a sense of shock and disbelief.

After the initial shock, there is often anger: Why me? Why us? The grieving process then continues along the roller coaster ride of bargaining, guilt, fear and sorrow, until the eventual acceptance that life must go on.

Yet, woven into the pain, is also a wonderful gift – the gift of reappraisal of priorities, of renewed faith, courage yet untapped, a sharpening of the senses, an appreciation of the gift of life. In the midst of everything comes a richness of life and perception, which deepens the meaning of existence, giving a greater understanding of ‘the search for meaning’ that Victor Frankl maintains is the purpose of life.

Coping skills

    • Look upwards. Have faith in a power far greater than yourself.
    • Look inwards. You will be amazed at the untapped inner reserves of strength that you have. Tell yourself everyday: ‘I can cope. I will cope.’ The confidence that you generate will also give peace and tranquillity to your loved ones. The more you know about your condition, the better equipped you’ll be to understand what’s happening and why. (The Internet is often an unreliable source of health information, so use only approved Websites or direct your questions to your doctor, or read a good book on the subject.) Take responsibility for your care by listening to and checking your body so you can spot potentially harmful changes before they bloom into real trouble.
    • Look outwards. This is the time when you need friends. Don’t insulate yourself, bottle up and withdraw from the world. Discuss, rather than hide your condition. Prepare your family and friends so that they will know how to help you if you show any symptoms or have an attack.
    • Compartmentalise. Live one day at a time. Set small, achievable goals for yourself and adjust your standards accordingly.
    • Talk about your fears, your doubts, your joys and your depression with friends and a support group, and rid yourself of any destructive feelings of recrimination.

If living with a chronic condition has you thinking about death, channel those thoughts to the kind of care you want at the end of your life. Spelling out whether you want the most aggressive care until the very end, or whether you’d prefer hospice care and a do-not-resuscitate order, can save you and your loved ones a lot of confusion and anguish later on.

Some of us reach acceptance quickly, others take some time to get there, but we all eventually learn to live with whatever diseases we have. Acceptance is knowing that, while we don’t choose our disease and would prefer not to have it, with proper treatment and lifestyle changes, if necessary, we can live a good life.

Our Employee Wellbeing Programme (EAP) is available 24 hours a day if you want to discuss coping with a chronic diseaase.