While it’s normal to lose a little passion now and again, here’s how to sustain the relationship during those times when you may feel that you are becoming bored.
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- Be attentive to each other. One of the best things to help reignite the spark in a relationship is to simply talk and really listen to each other. Avoid the obvious topics of kids and work. Instead chat about movies you’ve seen, mutual friends, hobbies each of you enjoys … anything to reconnect with each other. You cannot help feeling treasured and loved when someone genuinely shows an interest in you.
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- Flirt with each other. Flirting is as important years into your relationship as it was when you first met. Leave notes for each other to find, share secret in-jokes or just let your partner know how attractive you still find him/her.
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- Have more sex. Often, as the spark dies in a relationship, so does your sex life. Don’t wait until you’re in the mood (you may have to wait a while!). Having sex promotes intimacy, reassurance and the realisation that both parties are wanted and needed. Incidentally, studies find that husbands and wives who do housework together have more sex.
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- Plan dates. Plan a date with each other once a week or fortnight. Too busy for a weekly date night? Plan a candlelit dinner, try some cheese and wine and a good movie once the kids are asleep, eat breakfast together, meet for lunch or designate 20 minutes every evening for talking with each other – no distractions allowed.
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- Surprise each other. Cook a favourite meal, wear the outfit your partner loves you in or record a movie you think he/she will like. Just something that says he/she is special to you and on your mind.
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- Be the hero. It’s very difficult to stay angry with someone who’s being kind, thoughtful, forgiving and non-judgemental, and you may soon find that your gestures are reciprocated by your partner, creating a new positive cycle of relating to each other. Remember, it’s less important to solve the conflict than it is to treat each other well, even if there’s no solution to be found.
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- Communicate your needs. Share what you need from a relationship with your partner, whether it’s emotional support or splitting the grocery bill.
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- Name what you like about each other. Make a list of things you like about your partner, and then share them. Both partners will feel more attractive and confident.
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- Don’t be embarrassed to seek external support. For people in it for the long term, therapy is a reasonable (and sometimes necessary) choice.
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- Work on yourself first. The happier you are in general, the happier you’ll be in your relationship. Don’t rely on your partner to make you happy; make your life great regardless.
Sources
http://greatist.com/happiness/fix-a-bad-relationship
www.talentedladiesclub.com/all-help/five-ways-to-put-the-spark-back-into-your-relationship/