Solid communication skills are vital to running a successful business. Learning how to turn workplace arguments into productive debates is where it all starts.
What do you want? An argument or debate?
An argument is usually characterised by one person trying to get his or her point across while at the same time vigorously trying to discredit the other person’s opinion. The result of “winning” an argument in this way is often a dysfunctional and resentful team with bruised egos, consisting of losers and silent observers. The latter then usually take a silent vow not to open their mouths in a meeting again lest they get a mouthful of the same medicine.
In a successful workplace debate, two people or groups of people with different opinions come together to candidly and respectfully seek a better understanding about a matter by examining their different perspectives together. Innovative managers create “safe” opportunities for healthy discussions and strong debates that enable their teams to fully engage and arrive at the best solutions for the company’s wellbeing. To be able to debate successfully, we need specific communication skills.
Communication skills needed for successful debate
These five communication skills are needed to turn workplace arguments into successful debates:
- Learn to listen, not with the intent to reply or rebuttal the speaker’s argument but to fully hear and understand what the person is trying to say. Try to temporarily forget your own bias and listen intently to the other person’s ideas.
- Stay focussed. Don’t even allow an argument to start. Turn it into a healthy debate by reminding all present what it is all about, in other words make sure everybody is clear about what is being discussed or debated and what the purpose of the discussion is. Remind them that the debate is about exploring ideas (not people) and achieving a common goal. Never allow arguments to become personal.
- Don’t be afraid to speak up and also remind team members that they have the right to voice their opinions candidly and say their say! Discussions may become heated but must stay within bounds. You may argue your point passionately but you have to stay respectful in tone and body language.
- Communicate successfully by enthusiastically emphasising the positive things you want to highlight and develop, not the negatives. Try not to bore your listeners but use humour and story or anecdote telling to get your point across. Keep eye contact and control your emotions and body positioning.
- Ask for feedback and admit you may possibly be wrong instead of being mister or miss know-it-all. This is a good communication tactic to disarm aggressive people and negative situations and to earn their trust and respect.
Sources
Benna, S. The three communication skills every leader needs to master. Retrieved from: http://www.businessinsider.com/communication-skills-every-leader-needs-to-master-2015-7
Capozzi, M. Three ways to win arguments in the workplace. Retrieved from: https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/20140819210627-328894501-3-ways-to-win-arguments-in-the-workplace
Cody, S. 2012. Five tips for winning a debate. Retrieved from: http://www.inc.com/steve-cody/5-ways-to-win-a-debate.html
How to win an argument at work. Retrieved from: https://getlighthouse.com/blog/how-to-win-an-argument-at-work/