Show you care: practical ways to help the elderly

Why bother?

The elderly have become the “invisible” and silent generation in many societies. However, for the first time in human history there will be more older people (aged 60 and over) than children (aged under 16) living on planet earth by 2047. According to Age International’s report on global ageing, 80% of older people in developing countries have no regular income and only one in four older people in low and middle-income countries receive a pension.

So, what has that got to do with us? Every elderly person is someone’s father or mother, grandfather or grandmother or relative. Addressing their specific needs will benefit not just them personally but also their families, communities and the world at large.

So, show that you care by:

Supporting those that do care

Support and volunteer to help the organisers of campaigns such as the Go Turquoise for the Elderly (www.goturquiose.co.za) awareness campaign. This event, noted on the South African national awareness day calendar, runs from 15 May (International Family Day) to 15 June (World Elderly Abuse Awareness Day).

Debunking the myths about ageing and the elderly

There is an assumption that older people are less productive and less innovative than younger people. This myth is debunked by research affirming that, in both developed and developing countries, there is evidence of the productivity, creativity, vitality and participation of older adults in workplaces, communities, households and families. Unfortunately, older people are generally not recognised for the paid and unpaid work that they do. Instead they are thought of as dependants and burdens.

Showing some respect

“It is a sad irony at a time when the world has more older people than ever before – living longer with even greater wisdom and experience to offer – that they are often not respected as they have been in the past”, remarks Mary Robinson, a former UN High Commissioner for Human Rights.

It is up to each and every individual to teach their children how to respect the elderly by minding their manners when older people are present, giving up their seats in buses and trains, opening doors for them, helping them carry heavy parcels and speaking to them courteously and with respect.

Being considerate of their physical well-being

It is a fact of nature that the human body will eventually deteriorate with age. It is also a fact that older people’s health needs are routinely neglected.

Children and other relatives can help by sponsoring older relatives’ membership of a private medical aid scheme or by just adding them as a dependant to their own scheme. Also help them stay active and healthy by making sure they eat well and engage in some form of physical activity or sport. Remember to be patient when their strength declines and they start slowing down, sometimes dropping and misplacing things, etc.

Helping them keep their autonomy

Older people’s greatest fear is losing their autonomy and becoming totally dependent on others, both physically, mentally or financially. Help them live dignified lives by allowing them to make their own choices and decisions and to live independently for as long as possible. However, speak openly to them about planning for the future and for unforeseen medical and physical emergencies. Let them know that although you respect their independence you are ever ready and willing to help when asked.

Keeping them close

Accommodation is one of the most pressing needs of older people. Most would love to stay in or near their children and families or in the communities where they have been living all their lives. Many can’t afford to do so and private retirement centres have become so expensive that few can afford to go down that road.

Neighbourhood Old Age Homes (NOAH) and Abbeyfield Society homes are alternative housing schemes that make it possible for older people to live in ordinary houses on ordinary streets in ordinary communities at a nominal rent (no more than 30% of their pension).

Noticing, acknowledging and talking to them

Older people are often ignored and long to talk to someone or just have someone listen to them. Every family should have a “silent listener”, a member of the family who takes the time to listen to grandpa and grandma and write down or record their experiences and the family history.

Schools and church youth groups can also help in doing this even though they may not be related to the older person they speak to. They may even be encouraged to bring a board game along and experience how to be thoroughly beaten at chess or scrabble by someone much older!

Many older people have arts and crafts and other skills that are getting forgotten as everything is modernised. They could teach these to the younger generation while they in turn could help the elderly use and understand all the new technology and the Internet.

Showing physical affection

Appropriate physical touch, a hug, pat on the back, kiss on the cheek or just holding an older person’s hand is highly appreciated by most. However, do not be offended if your show of affection is rejected. Past and present pain, years of intolerance and injustice, frustration at society and other reasons may well be the reason behind a rebuff.

It was once said that the “moral test of government is how that government treats those who are in the dawn of life, the children; those who are in the twilight of life, the elderly; and those who are in the shadows of life, the sick, the needy and the handicapped”. It is also true of how we as individuals and communities treat them!

 

Sources

Brainy quotes. Retrieved from: http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/keywords/elderly.html
Facing the facts: the truth about ageing and development. Executive summary. Retrieved from: http://www.ageinternational.org.uk/
Grohol, J. M. Six ways to show you care. Retrieved from: http://psychcentral.com/
How to respect older people. Retrieved from: http://www.wikihow.com/Respect-Older-People
Marzouk, S. 2015. Age International launches report on global ageing. Retrieved from: http://www.helpage.org/