Finding love on the Internet can be fun and may very well help you find your soul mate. However, this form of online social matchmaking has both positive and negative aspects that you need to be aware of.
Finding love on the Web
Remember the song “Matchmaker” from the film Fiddler on the roof? It goes like this:
Matchmaker, matchmaker, make me a match.
Find me a find, catch me a catch.
Matchmaker, matchmaker, look through your book
And make me a perfect match.
Today, online dating sites allow singles both male and female to look for love and do their own matchmaking on the Internet. Online dating has many benefits and positive attributes but unfortunately, despite most reputable sites’ efforts, scammers and fraudsters sometimes do manage to get onto these sites with disastrous effects.
Do’s and don’ts of online dating
Here are a few tips to help you stay safe and meet that someone special:
Do’s
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- Do use a site you trust; one that has safety procedures in place to block suspicious profiles and customer care teams that you can contact via phone and email, any time of the day or night.
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- Do take time to write an honest but interesting personal profile. Remember, your personal profile is going to be the deciding factor when someone starts looking around. Post a recent photo, not one taken ten years ago, and make sure it’s not too sexy or provocative if you are a woman. Rather present yourself “warts and all” to prevent disappointment.
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- Do choose a username that doesn’t give all your personal details away or that is overtly sexual, provocative or controversial and might attract the wrong kind of attention.
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- Do try and find someone in your own city or close surroundings. Long-distance relationships are not easy to maintain.
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- Do trust your gut feeling and intuition. If something feels wrong or you suddenly feel uncomfortable or threatened, remove yourself from the situation. If you are communicating online, stop the conversation and click on the “Block Him/Her” link or on the “Report Abuse” link.
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- Do take control and do not allow yourself to be pressurised into revealing personal details or meeting someone before you feel safe to do so. On the other hand, beware of dithering too long before meeting someone in person and finding out first-hand whether you click or not.
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- Do learn not to take rejection personally. What usually happens when someone isn’t interested is that he or she will either not respond or will send you a polite “thanks, but no thanks” message.
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- Do keep a first face-to-face date short and simple by choosing a coffee date in a public place. Don’t let your date pick you up and let a friend or family member know your plans and whereabouts. It’s a good idea to ask someone to phone you halfway through your date in case you need an excuse to make a quick getaway. Watch your drink and personal belongings and have money and your cell phone close by. Be friendly but do not divulge too much personal detail on the first date.
Don’ts
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- Don’t reveal private and personal details in your profile. Also beware of people who ask for personal communication details straight away.
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- Don’t be in too much of a hurry to move the conversation to email, or personal phone calls. Be aware that fraudsters will try anything in their power to get you off the dating site so you can’t block or report them.
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- Don’t even look at profiles without photos or fall for hasty declarations of undying love or anyone who asks you for your address under the guise of sending you a gift.
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- Don’t, under any circumstances, give someone you have met on a dating site any money. There are several ways in which fraudsters will try to get you to part with your money. One ploy is to dish up some sob story about a child or relative who is ill and needs an operation to save their life while another is a plea for money to be able to travel from the foreign country or far off place he or she stays to meet you.
Final words
“It probably took a lot of thought to join the site and put yourself ‘out there.’ So don’t rush into anything when you start meeting someone. Watch for the warning signs as well as the good signs and don’t be afraid to back away if red flags start appearing”, advises Marcy Goodfleisch, expert on online dating cons and scams.
Sources
Dating online: six email do’s and don’ts. Retrieved from: http://www.eharmony.com
Five online dating dos and don’ts: how to stay safe when finding love on the Internet. 2014. Retrieved from: http://www.mirror.co.uk
Goodfleisch, M. How to spot online dating cons and scams and how to avoid them. Retrieved from: http://hubpages.com
Ten do’s and don’ts of Internet dating. Retrieved from: http://www.dummies.com
The pros and cons of online dating. Retrieved from: http://www.newsdial.com