We all want to be the best parents possible. Here are 10 tried and scientifically tested tips to be the best parent possible.

Being a parent is a great privilege

“There is no greater privilege in living than bringing a tiny new human being into the world and then trying to raise him or her properly during the next eighteen years. Doing that job right requires all the intelligence, wisdom, and determination you will be able to muster from day to day”, says Dr James Dobson, renowned author and psychiatrist.

Good parenting tips

1. Relax and enjoy your child

According to a study published in 2011, new parents who believe society or anyone else expects perfection from them are more stressed and less confident in their parenting skills. Of course your baby or child picks that up in a flash. So, try your best, relax and enjoy your child!

2. Get to know and understand your child

Listen to and accept advice but get to know your child yourself. Children do not come in one-size-fits-all packages. Be a good parent and tailor your parenting style to your child’s personality. According to research reports, children with parents who have done so have half the anxiety and depression of their peers who have more rigid parents.

3. Unconditionally love and nurture your child

Show it, say it and physically demonstrate it by handling your child tenderly and with respect, kissing and cuddling him or her, protecting, encouraging and supporting him or her. Feeling loved and valued builds self-esteem and self-worth, which is absolutely necessary for a fulfilling life. The opposite, damage to the ego (loss of self-worth), leads to feelings of inferiority and can set a child back for life.

4. Spend time with your child

Paediatrician Harley A. Rotbart sums it up perfectly when he says: “Your children need to spend meaningful time with you. They need to see who you are and how you live your life. When you add up all the time your kids spend at day care, in school, asleep, at friends’ homes, with babysitters, at camp, and otherwise occupied with activities that don’t include you, the remaining moments become especially precious”.

5. Play with your child

Recent research findings point out that joking and playing around with your toddler or young child actually helps him or her to think creatively, make friends and manage stress, all crucial life skills.

6. Listen to your child

There is no greater compliment you can pay your child than being prepared and available to give him or her your undivided attention and to listen to what he or she has to say. Children love it and crave it − as we all do.

7. Discipline your child

The right kind of discipline produces healthy, responsible children. Dr Dobson recommends the following simple principle: “When you are defiantly challenged, win decisively. When the child asks, ‘Who’s in charge?’ tell him. When he mutters, ‘Who loves me?’ take him in your arms and surround him with affection. Treat him with respect and dignity, and expect the same in return. Then begin to enjoy the sweet benefits of competent parenthood.”

8. Watch your mouth

The old adage of “sticks and stones can break my bones but words will never harm me” is totally untrue when it comes to parenting. Words have power and can never be taken back, so watch your tone of voice and what you say. Many a young heart has been fatally wounded by angry, negative words spoken by a loved one or one in authority. Also, research has pointed out that parents who express negative emotions or handle their small children roughly are likely to find themselves with aggressive kindergartners, teens and adult children, later in life.

9. Set the right example

Your children watch you all the time and emulate what you do. If you want them to be kind, appreciative and pleasant adults one day, lead by example. Also remember that your son is watching how you treat your wife and will follow your example when he gets married. Research has shown that a son, even more than a daughter, needs a warm, attached relationship with his mom and a daughter with her dad.

10. Nurture your marriage

It has been said that the best thing a man can do for his children is to love their mother. The minute there is stress and instability in your marriage, your children will sense it and start reacting negatively. Fight for your marriage and spare your children the heartache and pain of separation and divorce.

 

Sources

 

Dobson, J. Quality time or quantity time with children? Retrieved from: http://drjamesdobson.org/Solid-Answers/Answers?a=648b979f-8bf8-4c80-b33c-d20db5198c62
Dobson, J. Understanding your child’s personality. Retrieved from:  http://drjamesdobson.org/Solid-Answers/Answers?a=7ca5c8b4-4bed-4b41-a3cb-85608e2531d7
Dr Dobson’s parenting philosophy. Retrieved from: http://drjamesdobson.org/Solid-Answers/Answers?a=2c572b9e-a666-4d23-a0e6-fe0c51c69ac2
Pappas, S. 10 Scientific tips for raising happy kids 2012. Retrived from: http://www.livescience.com/17894-10-scientific-parenting-tips.html
Rotbart, H.A. How to spend more quality time with your child. Retrieved from: http://www.parents.com/parenting/better-parenting/positive/quality-time/