Parents of children with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) may feel that everyday tasks are just one big battle, from getting the child out the door in the morning to getting him or her to bed at night. Fortunately there is light in the tunnel!

Facing the facts

Dr Robert Myers, clinical psychologist and parent of a child with ADHD, points out that “your child’s brain works differently than 95 per cent of his peers. So ‘one size fits all’ parenting techniques won’t necessarily fit your child”. He adds, however, that facing the facts and understanding the effects of ADHD in children can make parenting much easier.

So, what are the facts? Dr Edward Hallowell describes a person with ADD/ADHD as “having a race car for a brain, a Ferrari engine for a brain. However, there is one problem. You have bicycle brakes! So, you need to see a brake specialist. Once you get your brakes strengthened, then the race car can win races instead of spinning out on turns”.

Both doctors encourage parents to remember that there is light at the end of the tunnel and that it is getting brighter as research is conducted and new findings emerge to help parents cope.

Strengthening the brakes

Myers offers the following suggestions, techniques and strategies discovered in his practice and in working with his own son, to help parents of children with ADHD improve behaviour.

Adapt your parenting techniques to suite your child

What works for adolescents with ADHD may not work for a seven-year-old and a behaviour modification technique that works for other children may only be effective for 5% of children with ADHD. For example, the common, “time-out” for bad behaviour modification tool (one minute of time-out for each year of age) needs to be adapted and modified for children with ADHD.

Children with ADHD respond better to reward than to punishment

Even punishment can contain a reward. For example, if your 6-year-old won’t sit quietly in time-out, tell him the time-out is eight minutes but he can reduce it to four minutes by sitting quietly. Then watch how hard he tries to earn the “reward”, says Myers.

Leverage the child’s desire for positive attention

Children with ADHD usually crave positive attention and overreact to negative attention or punishment. Use “selective attention”; that is, pay attention to appropriate behaviour through praise 70 to 80% of the time and ignore inappropriate or irritating behaviour 100%.

Work together as a team

Although most programmes for children with ADHD focus on training parents, Myers suggests that parents and children work together as a team. He refers to the Total Focus Programme, in which the parent and the child are taught relaxation exercises to improve concentration and reduce frustration. Doing it together not only improves their relationship but it is also a lot of fun.

Young children with ADHD respond well to touch

Children with ADHD need lots of physical contact so go ahead and kiss, hug, tickle and wrestle with them.

Focus on the child’s strengths daily

Encourage the child’s strengths, interests and abilities and help him  or her use these as compensations for any limitations or disabilities. Remember to praise him or her as often as you can.

Practice motor skill improvement to reduce frustration

Children with ADHD often have problems with motor skills, so teach and practise them in a fun way. Turn it into a game. For example, skip to music, play catch or toss a bean bag at a stack of blocks to improve coordination and the ability to follow directions. Mastering these simple skills builds confidence, self-esteem and motivation.

Be consistent

“When you use the techniques suggested here, remember that consistency is important to achieving success with a young attention disordered child”, says Myers. Trying a technique one or two times without results doesn’t mean that it’s completely ineffective. Keep on trying.

Force of positive connections

Follow-up data from the MTA study, the largest study ever done on the treatment of ADD in children, shows that positive connections within family and elsewhere make a crucial difference in outcome. Hallowell encourages parents to make sure their ADD and ADHD children “live a positively connected childhood”, that is that they feel positively connected at home, at school, on teams, in the neighbourhood, and to life in general.

 

Sources

Hallowell, E. Ten newest findings about ADHD. Retrieved from: http://www.drhallowell.com/add-adhd/top-10-newest-findings-about-addadhd/
Myers, R. 8 Secret tips for parents of children with ADHD. Retrieved from: http://www.empoweringparents.com/blog/adhd-add/does-your-child-have-addadhd-8-tips-that-work/#
Tartakovsky, M. Parenting kids with ADHD: 16 tips to tackle common challenges. Retrieved from: http://psychcentral.com/lib/parenting-kids-with-adhd-16-tips-to-tackle-common-challenges/0006557?all=1