Spending quality family time together

What exactly is “quality time”?

Quality time is defined as time spent with close family members, partners or friends; it is one-on-one time that is set aside for paying full and undivided attention to the person or matter at hand. Togetherness, not just close proximity, and quality conversation are central aspects of quality time, according to Gary Chapman, author of The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate. He adds: “By quality conversation, I mean sympathetic dialogue where two people are sharing their experiences, their thoughts, their feelings, and their desires in a friendly, uninterrupted context”.

Paediatrician Harley A. Rotbart agrees and adds: “Your children need to spend meaningful time with you. They need to see who you are and how you live your life. When you add up all the time your kids spend at day care, in school, asleep, at friends’ homes, with babysitters, at camp, and otherwise occupied with activities that don’t include you, the remaining moments become especially precious”.

Benefits of spending quality time together

There are many benefits to spending quality time with your family. Here are a few of them:

• • Giving your undivided attention to someone makes them feel loved, valued and appreciated and builds self-esteem and a feeling of self-worth in the recipient.

• • It offers an opportunity for meaningful conversation, and to voice thoughts and feelings. Children, especially, don’t easily pour out the things that they have experienced such as bullying or are worried about unless they feel truly safe and have their parent’s full attention.

• • By spending time together and watching how their parents behave in certain every-day situations, children can be taught good family morals and general behaviour patterns. If you do not teach them who are they going to learn from?

• • Spending quality time together offers an opportunity to family members of getting to know and accept each other, their strengths and the areas in which they struggle and to offer help where needed.

• • Doing fun things together creating family rituals are the stuff memories are made of.

Things family members can do together to create lifetime memories

Here are seven suggestions:

1. Sitting down to dinner at home with the whole family is not always easy to achieve but is a special time even if it only happens once a week or on high days and holidays. Make it more fun by involving the whole family in the planning, cooking and cleaning up afterwards.
2. Go to the library together. This is especially exciting for younger members of the family and you will be introducing them to the benefits and joys of reading. Not only does reading open up new worlds but it also sparks imagination, helps develop critical thinking and prepares and supports children and teens in school and life. Most of the materials and programmes available at your library are free!
3. Play board games, video games (if you dare and for a limited span of time only), outdoor games and sport together.
4. Attend a concert, show or movie together and have a lively discussion afterwards, giving every member of the family a chance to voice his or her opinion.
5. Make walks a family ritual. Walking is a great way to slow down the pace of living and to talk. If you are a super fit family do the Comrades or Two Oceans or other fun runs together. Going on hikes and camping out are also golden opportunities to spend quality time together.
6. Start a family project together, for example a vegetable garden or other home improvement project, plan a holiday or trip together, research the family tree and creating a family album, or work together as volunteers at an old-age home, hospice, etc.
7. Have a quiet time at home − make some popcorn, snuggle up under a blanket and talk.

Quality versus quantity time?

“A strong family finds that opportunities for quality time emerge from quantity time: The more time you spend together, the better chance you have of sharing quality experiences”, remarks psychiatrist and author James Dobson!

 

Sources

 

Bobette, B. 2013. The importance of spending more quality time with your kids. Retrieved from: http://www.collegenanniesandtutors.com/blog/title/The-Importance-of-Spending-More-Quality-Time-with-Your-Kids
Dobson, J. Quality Time or Quantity Time with Children? Retrieved from: http://drjamesdobson.org/Solid-Answers/Answers?a=648b979f-8bf8-4c80-b33c-d20db5198c62
How to send free quality time with your kids. Retrieved from: http://www.wikihow.com/Spend-Free-Quality-Time-With-Your-Kids
Pish, S 2013. Spending quality family time together is very important. Retrieved from:  http://msue.anr.msu.edu/news/spending_quality_family_time_together_is_very_important
Rotbart, H.A. How to spend more quality time with your child. Retrieved from: http://www.parents.com/parenting/better-parenting/positive/quality-time/
Speaking the love language of quality time. 2009. Retrieved from: http://www.5lovelanguages.com/2009/01/speaking-the-love-language-of-quality-time