Has your partner, child or sibling been stricken with chronic fatigue and immune dysfunction syndrome (CFIDS)? Whatever the case, it’s difficult to see a loved one in such pain. The illness may also present new challenges to your relationship and may worsen any existing relationship problems.

If you’re feeling confused and helpless, unsure of what to say or of how to offer support, the following tips may be of help:

    • Learn as much as possible about CFIDS. The more you understand the disease, the better you’ll be able to offer support. As you can’t see most of the symptoms, you may find it hard to understand the challenges that your loved one faces.
    • Don’t think that your loved one is lazy, exaggerating his or her symptoms or suffering from a psychiatric condition. CFIDS can be a chronic, debilitating disorder that affects the brain and multiple parts of the body. It can cause extreme fatigue that is not relieved with bed rest and is often made worse by physical or mental activity. Symptoms last at least six months and can be severe enough to impair or interfere with daily activities. Listen, believe and show compassion for what he or she is going through. When you acknowledge your loved one’s situation, you’re letting him or her know that you care for, love and support him or her.
    • Be patient. Remember that your loved one has had to make many adjustments and is doing the best that he or she can.
    • Provide frequent reassurances of your love and support.
    • Offer practical help, such as helping with household chores and shopping.
    • Take your loved one to medical appointments.
    • Find ways to spend time together doing low-energy activities such as watching a movie, eating a meal, going on a picnic, playing a game, sitting in the park or giving a massage.
    • Don’t feel that you have to “fix” problems or give advice. Many times just being there, listening and showing compassion is enough.
    • Express gratitude for whatever your loved one can give you, in spite of his or her limitations.
    • Express admiration for the strength and courage you see as he or she copes with the challenges of the illness.
    • Your loved one may have mood swings due to the stress and challenges of having a chronic illness. Don’t take emotional reactions personally.
    • Try to be sensitive to your loved one’s feelings and needs. Listen and learn to be perceptive.
    • Even if he or she isn’t as active and involved in mutual interests or gatherings, invite him or her anyway.

Care for yourself

It’s important to take care of yourself so that you can provide support. CFIDS is a difficult illness, not only for the sufferer but for you as well. It’s normal to feel disappointed, impatient, guilty, frustrated, helpless and cheated. Talk with your loved one about how the illness affects your relationship and ask how you can help each other.

 

Sources

http://home.gwi.net
www.beliefnet.com
www.womenshealth.gov