It is perfectly normal for people with different perceptions to experience conflict in the workplace. Avoiding or hiding conflict can be non-productive and incur hidden costs for an organisation; however, dealing appropriately with conflict can be the first step to improving communication, solving a problem and building trust and cooperation.

Steps to reconciliation

    • Don’t react. Take time to cool off and gather your emotions. Give yourself time to think and remain focused on identifying your real needs and interests as well as those of the other person. Deep breathing, and counting to ten is very helpful.
    • Deal with feelings. Helping the other person to identify or acknowledge his or her feelings will reduce the intensity of those feelings and allow the person to focus on the underlying issues. By encouraging and permitting the person to express his or her negative feelings without fear of reprisal or punishment, you also increase the possibility of having your feelings accepted.
    • Attack the problem, not the person. Keep an objective eye on the problem and detach any feelings about the person presenting it. Try to understand what the actual problem is and try to find a solution. Try to see the situation from the other person’s point of view. Show respect, don’t interrupt and avoid using hostile words that inflame.
    • Practice direct communication. Use “I” statements and be clear about points of agreement, purpose and needs. Words alone do not convey this information, so be aware of your body language and tone of voice. Ask questions to clarify and paraphrase what the other person is attempting to communicate to you; for example, “I hear you say that you’re upset about …”. Ask problem-solving questions. Other people can provide you with some very important information about yourself, positive and negative, and you can provide equally important information that is helpful to them.
    • Look past positions to the underlying interests. A “position” is when someone has a limited view of what solution is necessary to meet a particular need. Until the needs and interests of each person are ascertained, it will be impossible to find a mutually beneficial and agreeable solution. Try to identify the other person’s physical or psychological needs and your common interests. You can bring these interests to the surface or you can leave them submerged to be used only if things become unmanageable.
    • Focus on the future. Proving or disproving past allegations may not be helpful. Allow the other person ownership in the resolution. Don’t sell your ideas but engage in a joint problem-solving discussion. Ask what’s important and make sure agreement is reached with dignity and respect for one another.

 

Sources
www.mediate.com
www.ststephenshouse.com