Have you ever had a colleague who is constantly putting him-/herself down, saying negative things about him-/herself and even cracking jokes about his/her own weaknesses? Chances are your colleague has an extremely low opinion of him-/herself, a low self-image and low self-esteem.

Here’s how you can help him or her.

What is self-image and self-esteem?

Self-image and self-esteem are two closely linked twins. Self-esteem, that is how we evaluate ourselves and what we really think about ourselves, is closely linked to our self-image or how we see ourselves or think others see us. Both are heavily influenced by the feedback we got from parents and other important people in our lives while we were growing up and also later in our lives.

Words are powerful

Words are so powerful; in fact, research has shown that it takes about 20 positive statements about oneself to undo one negative, personal statement. What’s in the heart usually comes out the mouth and people with low self-esteem therefore often engage in negative self-talk.

However, a positive sense of who we are can change our life and also impact those we work with and for. American researchers found that they could make people succeed just by labelling them “successful”. Recognition and praise work wonders and also have a positive impact on productivity and happiness in the workplace.

How you can help

Positive self-talk is a powerful weapon which people with low self-esteem need to take up and use. Encourage them to:

    • Stifle all negative thoughts and self-talk. Help and remind them if they lapse into negative self-talk
    • Accept that no human being is perfect, to not be so hard on themselves.
    • Stop trying to change to fit someone else’s opinion of who they are supposed to be. Remind them of their own good qualities and insist they remind themselves
    • Not be too submissive or too bossy but to insist and expect others to treat them with respect and kindness
    • Set realistic goals and work hard to attain them
    • Keep on trying and also encourage others who are struggling
    • Watch their body language and attitude as these send signals of defeat or confidence and success
    • Hang out with those who are positive and encouraging, and to avoid people who suck their energy or gripe and gossip all the time.

As you will have noticed the abovementioned strategies all culminate in one thing; positive self talk! However, having someone in one’s corner, someone who is willing to help and encourage, will make the healing process so much easier for the person with low self-esteem.

 

Sources
Koslow, S. Surprising secrets to unshakeable confidence. Reader’s Digest, August 2006, pp.118-124
Negative self-talk and your self-esteem. Retrieved from: http://www.Allaboutcounseling.com
Six keys to loving yourself. Retrieved from: http://www.Allaboutcounseling.com.