Body language is a dead giveaway. What does it reveal when Michelle Obama speaks and Barack makes eye contact with her and listens with interest to what she says?
The spoken word and body language should go hand-in-hand. Confusion arises when the spoken language and the body aren’t saying the same thing. Interpretation of body language, however, happens unconsciously. On the other hand, couples who are emotionally connected:
- Walk side by side. One will not lead the other, or suddenly change course without telling the other.
- Tend to touch more often. They might hold hands, the male might lightly hold the female’s lower back, or one might simply touch the other’s arm or shoulder occasionally.
- Catch each other’s eyes often at a social gathering, while being secure enough to mingle.
- Mirror each other’s actions. If they are at a restaurant, both will be on the same course. If one is still on appetizers and the other is already ordering dessert; something is amiss.
- Lean in towards each other. If one touches or kisses, the other one will reciprocate. They may even have each other’s mannerisms.
Relationships could be in conflict when one partner:
- Has his or her arms crossed or turns his or her back to the other partner. This sends a message that the person is closed to the discussion and not interested in resolving the problem.
- Has clenched fists while saying everything is alright. Non-verbal cues often take precedence over verbal cues.
- Moves away, leans back, looks at the floor, frowns, stares in disbelief, or snorts.
Body language is often more powerful and hurtful than words. For example, those rolling eyeballs can hurt far more than the words, “that’s dumb”.
How you fight, your gestures and non-verbal signals also help resolve conflict. For instance, positive signals such as facing your partner, making eye contact, placing hands on both sides and nodding while allowing your partner to speak his or her mind can have you kissing and making up before you know it.
Our Employee Wellbeing Programme (EWP) is available 24 hours if you want to discuss body language in marriage. Call us on 0861872862 or email us at
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